Am I experiencing family violence?

This quiz is about your partner, ex-partner, other family member, carer or someone with whom you are in a family-like relationship with.

1. Do you ever feel uncomfortable or afraid around your partner/family member?
yes / no

2. Does your partner/family member check up on you constantly, or insist on knowing where you are all the time?
yes / no

3. Has your partner/family member ever insisted on reading your text messages, emails, or social media?
yes / no

4. Does your partner/family member lose their temper often?
yes / no

5. Are you afraid to disagree with your partner?
yes / no

6. Has your partner/family member ever put you down or insulted you in front of others?
yes / no

7. Has your partner/family member ever controlled how much money you have, and/or how you spend it?
yes / no

8. Does your partner/family member act overly jealous or accuse you of cheating often?
yes / no

9. Have you stopped seeing friends or family to avoid upsetting your partner or a family member?
yes / no

10. Has your partner/family member ever locked you in the house?
yes / no

11. Has your partner/family member ever blamed you for the way they act?
yes / no

12. Has your partner/family member ever made you feel uncertain or made you doubt your memory of events?
yes / no

13. When your partner/family member is angry, do they throw or break things to scare you?
yes / no

14. Have you ever been frightened that your partner/family member might threaten the safety of you/ your children?
yes / no

15. Has your partner/family member ever threatened to hurt you or your children?
yes / no

16. Has your partner/family member ever hurt you or your children?
yes / no

17. Has your partner/family member ever forced you to have sex with them?
yes / no

18. Has your partner/family member ever slapped, hit, pushed or shoved you or your children – or threatened to?
yes / no

19. Has your partner/family member every used your visa status to control you?
yes / no

20. Has your partner/family member every withheld medication or medical treatment?
yes / no

21. Has your partner/family member every used your sexuality or gender identity as a threat or to control you?
yes / no

 

If you answered YES to any of these questions, you might be in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship.

It is never okay for someone to:

  • control where you go or who you speak to
  • physically attack or hurt you
  • verbally abuse you
  • threaten you or your loved ones, including a pet
  • limit your access to necessities, including healthcare, transport or food
  • stalk or monitor you, including online
  • force you to do sexual things you don’t want to do
  • put you down, or humiliate you
  • control your finances and financial decisions
  • threaten to take away children
  • isolate you from friends and family
  • use your visa status to threaten or control you
  • stop you from practising religious, spiritual or cultural beliefs and rituals
  • make you feel scared to say ‘no’

Family violence is not always easy to identify because the violence is often not physical. All partners, family members and others in close relationships disagree or argue from time to time, even within a healthy relationship. When disagreements and arguments become a consistent pattern and you feel fear or controlled, you may be experiencing family violence.

Quiz: Am I experiencing family violence?
It can be scary, confronting and upsetting to realise that you might be experiencing family violence, especially if you have never spoken to anyone else about it or if, when you did talk to someone in the past, you were not believed or supported.

There are many family violence counsellors you can talk to who can provide information and support and who can discuss what you can do so you and your family are safe. This violence is not your fault and you are not alone.

Where to get help